Our hidden lives

A passage from the excellent BBC dramatization of George Eliot's 'Middlemarch'. Judi Dench is the voice of the narrator. Dorothea is one of the main characters. She has great hopes of intellectual advancement and helping her fellow man. But...

"And Dorothea. She had no dreams of being praised above other women, feeling that there was always something better which she might have done, if she had only been better and known better. Her full nature spent itself in deeds which left no great name on the earth, but the effect of her being on those around her was incalcuable. For the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts and on all those Dorothea's who live faithfully their hidden lives and rest in unvisited tombs."

This is not just a beautifully written conclusion to a great story but it hits home at the very heart of the experience of the vast majority of the ordinary human beings who 'live faithfully their hidden lives'. I can strongly identify with Dorothea's aspirations and her disappointments all too well. Not many of us will get the chance to achieve a great historic act that will reverberate down through history. If we are sincere in our good acts then we should not worry about that but there is always something in us that wants to achieve more for the greater good of the world, or at least in my case sometimes for the good of my own ego. We all suffer the frustration and pain of being largely futile in the face of the injustices and suffering that we witness on tv or read in the newspaper or pass in the street. We do what little we can but for the large part we just have to accept the way of the world. It is something I have personally found difficult to accept and I've had to learn not to take the burden of the world on my shoulders. To quote Mother Theresa: "In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love." You don't have to be religious to appreciate the wisdom and truth of those words. They are relevant in the psychological realm as well as the spiritual. The effect of Dorothea's 'being' on her neighbours and friends cannot be underestimated. I know many ordinary people who are loving and caring and kind, and I am blessed by this and it gives me strength and hope. To quote this time Tolstoy: "Everyone thinks of changing the world but no one thinks of changing himself." How true. How I wish our politicans would take these words to heart. I hope that I too may have the courage and humility to live faithfully my hidden life with love and integrity, just like Dorothea. So, when you meet me the next time, don't call me Michael, just call me Dorothea.