Turning 30

I turned 30 on Saturday. I actually feel okay about it, probably because I'm in better health now. A couple of years ago, when I was very ill, I felt as though my life was passing me by, but now I am more accepting and philosophical about where I am in life. My 20's were tough, real tough, but through all the pain and suffering and uncertainty I think I learned a lot and matured greatly as a person. I am far from perfect and I've a long way to go but I am feeling more hopeful and optimistic about my 30's and life in general. Thank you to all my friends and family for their love, prayers and just being there for me. What are my goals for the next ten years? Just to live and to live well.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood. - Helen Keller

Celebrity Crush List 2010

Top ten celeb crushes:

1) Rachel McAdams
2) Lisa Hannigan
3) Natalie Portman
4) Duffy
5) Lois from Family Guy
6) Audrey Tautou (Amelie)
7) Jada Pinkett-Smith
8) Kate Winslet
9) Corinne Bailey-Rae
10) Rachel Weisz

Sadly most of these beautiful women are either fictional, already married or have a restraining order out on me. So I’m willing to settle for anything that comes my way.

Heaven

In the book The Lovely Bones the main character is stranded in a sort of limbo between earth and heaven called the inbetween, a place where your world is tailor made to match you personality and experiences. It's an interesting concept and got me thinking about the afterlife and heaven. What will heaven be like? The Christian vision of heaven in the Bible is of a place where "there shall be no more death, neither sorrow or crying, neither shall there be any more pain." (Rev 21:3) Obviously that means there will be no episodes of Friends. Also we will have new bodies, which will be nice. "God has prepared us for the purpose of being clothed with our heavenly body." (2Cor 5:4-5) I like to think that there will be a range of body types to choose from and on entering heaven we will be given a catalogue and asked to select one of the following. Personally I will choose Brad Pitt from Fight Club. I remember a priest giving a short homily about heaven to children with learning difficulties. He said that it would be a place where you could do all the things you enjoy on earth. I quite liked this idea. I don't think time will exist in heaven, there will just be the present moment, but I have thought about my perfect day in heaven. It will be something like this:

8AM wake up without a hangover
enjoy the sunrise
have breakfast with Tommy Cooper (special omelette and orange juice)
the waitress is Rachel Weisz
10.30AM have a round of golf with St.Peter at Augusta
the sun is shinning and the caddie is Rachel McAdams
1PM have lunch with Elvis (we both eat hamburgers)
2PM play guitar with Frank Zappa
4PM play soccer with a select team that includes Pele, Maradona and Zidane
the referee is Natalie Portman
6PM have dinner with Johnny Cash, Einstein, Che Guevara and Groucho Marx
Johnny gives us a few tunes, Groucho gives us a few jokes
the waitress is Marilyn Monroe
8PM paint with Picasso
10PM have a few beers with Jesus and enjoy the sunset

I think that sounds pretty good. Now I just have to get to heaven, that's the hard part.

John Scofield and the SNJO

I had the honour of seeing one of my guitar heros in concert last night. John Scofield is one of the most talented and innovative jazz guitarists alive. The fact that jazz legend and genius Miles Davis hired John in the early 1980's speaks volumes. This concert was a collaboration between Scofield, the Scottish National Jazz Orchestra (SNJO) and a number of composers who arranged the music for the orchestra. The first set was 'Loud Jazz'; four pieces penned by Scofield and one by Miles. The second set was 'Electric Miles'; four Miles tunes and one by Scofield. My favorite was Wabash The Third (partly because I can play a few bars on guitar myself, although very slowly and probably incorrectly) and Davis's wonderfully catchy Jean Pierre. It almost has the feel of a children's song. Da da, da da Da. That does not really do it justice. It is so simple but so effective, much like Beethoven's 5th in its simple direct melody. Scottish Saxophonist Tommy Smith conducted the orchestra and also threw in a few blistering solos for good measure. He has a rare set of lungs and he was very impressive but I got the impression that Scofield was the real crowd puller. He was certainly the reason I was there. I am not a music critic and I don't understand the technicalities of music theory or chord formation or improvisation but I just loved watching him play that guitar. It just seemed to work and sound right. I don't really have the words or musical knowledge to better articulate why I love his guitar playing so much, I just do. The SNJO were also very very impressive and I would definitely see them live again. The drummer was excellent and played a couple of solos. He played the drums in a jerky energetic way like he was being electrocuted. The bass player was a odd wee guy who looked like Spud from Trainspotting. It was like someone had just picked him up off the mean streets of Easterhouse or Drumchapel, stuck him in a suit and shoved him on stage. He was very good, to be fair. The lead trumpet dude also gave a dynamic solo, squealing out notes with a bright red face and eyes screwed up like he was badly constipated. But the night really belonged to John Scofield. Great guitarist, he also seemed like a lovely guy. There was a microphone passed between Tommy Smith and John durng the two sets and they had a bit of banter. It was my first jazz concert in many years, and if the brain is a sponge and can only absorb so much information then the same can be said of jazz. It is an intense genre and I can only take so much, but the concert has definitely rekindled my interest in jazz and I will be back for more, that is for certain.

culture of greed

In the light of Robbie Keane's loan deal to Celtic, where he earns an incredible £65,000 a week, the morality of footballers wages has been in my mind quite a lot. Keane is an excellent player but nobody is worth that amount of money. For that kind of money Keane is morally obliged to score at least five goals a game, do extensive charity work and find a cure for cancer. I don't want to focus solely on Keane, as there are some players on twice that wage in the English Premiership. If I was in a similar position, a top player with the leverage to demand £65,000, I would find myself in a moral dilemma. I could take the wages and look after my family and give most to charity. Or I could make a stand and settle for a more modest wage (say 3 or 4 grand a week, which is still a huge salary) and let the media know about it and why I am doing it. In an ideal world FIFA would impose a maximum wage structure but that's never going to happen. I just hope that someday a brave footballer is going to speak out about this culture of greed and immoral wages. But there is no point in just speaking out about it. You would have to put your money where your mouth is.

John Hughes tribute

John Hughes: director, writer, producer, was a extremely talented artist and I was saddened to hear of his untimely death in August 2009. This is my own tribute to him. It's not since his death that I have come to fully appreciate just how gifted this man was. This creative output during the 1980's and early 1990's is very impressive, including classics such as Planes, Trains and Automobiles and Home Alone, the later being the most commerically successful film which he wrote and produced. But his 1980's teen comedies should not be overlooked. The two which I have seen, The Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller's Day Off, are both superb. He wrote the script for both films and he seems to be able to powerfully articulate the thoughts and feelings of teenagers: the angst, uncertainty, search for identity, strained relationships with parents and authority figures. Although set in the 1980's the themes are universal and can speak to young people from any generation. The Breakfast Club delves more deeply into these issues, although it has comic moments. Ferris Bueller in general is more lightheatred and fun but has a few poignant and powerful scenes which hit home. The Breakfast Club made me think about my own high school years. In case you don't know The Breakfast Club is about five teenagers who have to spend Saturday morning and some of the afternoon (maybe it should have been called The Brunch Club) together in detention at their high school. The five teenagers fall into different high school social niches: the jock/athelete, the princess, the basketcase, the criminal and the brain. It made me think about what group I belonged to in high school. On reflection I think I was a bit of all five: I was very good at sports but definitely not a jock, people seemed to like me but I was not part of the popular crowd nor did I have many real friends, I was different from most others in my tastes and behaviour but not quite an oddball, I got into some fights and clashes with authority but I was not a menace to society or bad person (although Jackie would disagree), and I did study hard and achieve some good academic results but I was not labelled a brainbox. I guess it is a homage to John Hughes that his films make you think about these things. His last film as a director was Curly Sue, which I've never seen, and apart from writing scripts for one or two films he moved to Illinois and lived as a farmer until his death. John Hughes died of a heart attack in Mahattan, New York while visiting family. Even though he kept a low profile and rarely gave interviews he will be sorely missed. One of my new years resolutions was to marry Rachel McAdams. The other was to watch more John Hughes films and it is something I look forward to greatly. John Hughes 1950 - 2009. Rest in peace.

Glasga wit

I got this story from a friend of a friend works who works in a jobcentre. It's just approaching 9AM and there is a queue of guys outside the jobcentre. The security guard watches them from the door. One dude decides to roll up a joint but in the process spills a handful of canabis onto the ground. The dude and his pal then spent the next five minutes on their hands and knees, scooping up canabis with small plastic forks. The security guard watches on in amusement. When the doors to the jobcentre open all the guys come in and line up, waiting for their name to be called. The security guard wanders over the dude and asks him if he mananged to get back all his 'stuff'. 'Nae man,' answers the dude, 'but I will if I have tae smoke the ground!'