Shakespeare biography

The only non-fiction book I’ve read this year, not including Playboy and The Bible, is a biography of William Shakespeare by one of my favourite writers, Bill Bryson. It was given to me as a present a few years ago more of the strength that I am a Bryson fan rather than being an avid devotee of ‘the baird’. I studied Romeo and Juliet at high school, and to be honest I found it rather difficult to get my head around Shakespeare’s use of language. It is gospel that Shakespeare had a wonderful grasp of the English language. I do not refute this, but for some reason I struggle with his work. We went to see Hamlet at the King’s Theatre and I did not have a clue what was going on. I laughed when everybody else laughed, etc, and I enjoyed the bloody ending but most of it was lost on me. I am a late developer in most areas of life so maybe I’ll come to appreciate and enjoy his work in my fast approaching middle age. I liked Baz Lurman’s version of Romeo and Juliet, but this was more to do with Lurman’s vivid and quirky direction. I quite enjoyed Kenneth Branagh’s cinematic take on Hamlet and Much Ado About Nothing but maybe they should provide subtitles for idiots like me so that we can keep abreast with the plot and character development, etc. Anyway, back to Bryson’s biography of Shakespeare. It’s succinct, well researched and insightful. He does the best he can with the limited evidence and knowledge of Shakespeare. Of course we would love to know more about this much celebrated and enigmatic genius but I was actually quite content learning about the different aspects of Elizabethan culture. Bryson does a good job of bringing it all to life. It is anything but dry and academic. Bryson’s last four books have not been travel books. The memoir of his childhood was a journey of sorts but not a physical one. Maybe he is tired of travelling and being away from his home and family. Or maybe he just wants to widen his literary scope. He certainly has the talent and skill to write about anything. He could write about the mating habits of salamanders and turn it into a best seller.
Shakespeare by Bill Bryson 8/10

A call to arms

This is a call to arms. Below is a draft of a letter I intend to send to David Cameron and George Osbourne. I encourage you, yes YOU reader, to get writing and let these posh bastards know that we are not happy with the status quo and with the policies they intend to implement. Round One, Ding Ding!

Dear Mr Cameron/Mr Osbourne,

I have three points to make.

Firstly, the current government are determined on cracking down on benefits cheats. This is obviously the right course of action but it seems to take a much higher priority than bringing to justice those who are guilty of tax evasion. The Inland Revenue lose about £95 billion in corporate tax through companies and individuals parking assets offshore and employing clever accountants to exploit existing loopholes. Why do you allow this? Instead of cutting public sector jobs and welfare benefits the government should take back the lost billions through closing tax loopholes and pursuing those who evade paying tax. This would more than half the national deficit.

Secondly, George Osbourne declared that we are 'all in this together'. I beg to differ. There are many millionaires in the present cabinet. How on earth can they be in it together with the poor and disadvantaged of society? The following is an example. Recent figures show that around 650,000 carers save the Scottish Government over £7 billion a year. One lady, Muriel Warwick, cares for her elderly mother who suffers from dementia and gets paid £240 a month in carer's allowance. That is £7 a day for 24 hours care. You keep referring to your cuts in welfare and public spending as 'tough but fair'. £7 a day is certainly tough but not fair.

Thirdly, will there be significant reform to avoid a repeated banking crisis?

Yours sincerely,

Michael James Gilfedder.

Our hidden lives

A passage from the excellent BBC dramatization of George Eliot's 'Middlemarch'. Judi Dench is the voice of the narrator. Dorothea is one of the main characters. She has great hopes of intellectual advancement and helping her fellow man. But...

"And Dorothea. She had no dreams of being praised above other women, feeling that there was always something better which she might have done, if she had only been better and known better. Her full nature spent itself in deeds which left no great name on the earth, but the effect of her being on those around her was incalcuable. For the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts and on all those Dorothea's who live faithfully their hidden lives and rest in unvisited tombs."

This is not just a beautifully written conclusion to a great story but it hits home at the very heart of the experience of the vast majority of the ordinary human beings who 'live faithfully their hidden lives'. I can strongly identify with Dorothea's aspirations and her disappointments all too well. Not many of us will get the chance to achieve a great historic act that will reverberate down through history. If we are sincere in our good acts then we should not worry about that but there is always something in us that wants to achieve more for the greater good of the world, or at least in my case sometimes for the good of my own ego. We all suffer the frustration and pain of being largely futile in the face of the injustices and suffering that we witness on tv or read in the newspaper or pass in the street. We do what little we can but for the large part we just have to accept the way of the world. It is something I have personally found difficult to accept and I've had to learn not to take the burden of the world on my shoulders. To quote Mother Theresa: "In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love." You don't have to be religious to appreciate the wisdom and truth of those words. They are relevant in the psychological realm as well as the spiritual. The effect of Dorothea's 'being' on her neighbours and friends cannot be underestimated. I know many ordinary people who are loving and caring and kind, and I am blessed by this and it gives me strength and hope. To quote this time Tolstoy: "Everyone thinks of changing the world but no one thinks of changing himself." How true. How I wish our politicans would take these words to heart. I hope that I too may have the courage and humility to live faithfully my hidden life with love and integrity, just like Dorothea. So, when you meet me the next time, don't call me Michael, just call me Dorothea.

Top Ten Celebrity Crush List 2010

1. Winona Ryder (beautiful eyes)
2. Eliza Doolittle (the best pair of legs in music)
3. Gemma Arterton (sadly now married)
4. Shakira (her hips drive me crazy)
5. Eva Green (still single so I'm in with a chance)
6. Uma Thurman (she's too tall so in reality a relationship is unlikely)
7. Penny from The Big Bang Theory (she's the only reason I watch the show)
8. Zheng Ziyi (a Chinese Natalie Portman)
9. Emily Blunt (marry me Emily!)
10. Rose Byrne (brains and beauty, a winning combination)

A knock at the door

I’m sitting in front of the tv in a stupor. There’s a knock at the door. It must be Toni and Cody looking for my mum. As I pass the kitchen my mum mouths ‘I’m not in’. She’s tired. I open the door to reveal the two girls. Cody is taller with dusky red hair and a few teeth missing. Toni has long dark blonde hair and it swirls around her slender neck. Dirt is smeared around her pretty face. She has a twinkle in her eye.
‘Can we speak to Nancy?’
‘My mum’s actually busy just now doing the dishes. Maybe tomorrow.’
‘We’ve finished our dinner.’
‘Have you? That’s great’
‘We ate all of it.’
‘Did you? What did you eat?’
‘Fish cakes,’ says Cody, ‘with loads of chips.’
‘What did you have?’ I ask Toni.
‘The same. I was at her place. Maybe next week I can go again. Or have a sleepover.’
‘She doesn’t live here,’ says Cody.
‘Where do you live Toni?’
She thinks for a moment.
‘What part of Glasgow?’ I add, trying to help.
‘Cambuslang.’
‘Who do you stay with?’
‘Em, my mum, my aunt, my big brother, my two wee brothers,’ all in one breath.
‘That’s a lot of people in one house,’ I observe.
‘I have just four,’ says Cody. ’My mum, my dad, Reece and my dog.’
‘Your dog is not family,’ corrects Toni.
‘Well,’ I interpose, ‘for some people a pet is like a member of the family. Like our tiger.’
I turn slightly and nod in the direction of a large fluffy tiger sitting at the back of the hallway. They strain their necks to look. Somebody had given it to my sister but she thought it was kitsch and was going to throw it out. My mum took a liking to it and gave the tiger a home. It has guarded over us ever since. We named him Tony.
They both grin in amusement.
‘That?’
‘Yeah, sure. He’s part of our family. I talk to him at night when he comes alive.’
‘No he doesn’t.’
‘He does, I swear.’
Toni cocks her head sideways.
‘Can we have a sticker?’
I hesitate for a moment but I already know the answer. I’m soft hearted when it comes to children.
‘Sure. Just a minute.’
I edge into the kitchen where my mum is sitting on a stool, a cup of tea in her hands.
‘Where are the stickers?’ I whisper.
‘In Christina’s room, on top of the pink box.’
I search the room and find them.
‘Can we have three?’ asks Cody, as I hand them over.
‘Yeah.’
They inspect the selection. After a few moments Toni chooses a pink ‘Good Girl’ sticker and attaches it to her white T-shirt. Cody is undecided. Earlier on they had turned up at our doorstep and announced to my mum that they had tidied up Toni’s garden and picked up all the litter. They were rewared with stickers and now they were back for more. Cody fiddles with the stickers. She is thinking something over.
‘Can we give the tiger a sticker?’
I drag the tiger to the door and she places a star on his nose.
‘Pick some for yourself,’ I suggest.
They ponder for a few minutes, taking their time to choose.
‘Okay girls,’ as I gently take the stickers back, ‘I have got some work to do.’
I put a hand on the edge of the door but they still stand there.
Toni opens her arms out.
‘A cuddle?’
I smile, touched.
I reach down and give her a hug. She is so small and fragile. I hesitate and then reach over to Cody and give her a quick hug.
I feel a warm glow inside.
‘Okay, girls,’ closing the door slowly, ‘take care.’
‘Bye!’ they chime.
I close the door with a smile on my face.

My Son My Son What Have Ye Done

Directed by Werner Herzog and produced by David Lynch this film is an uncompromising and disturbing study of one man's descent into a madness which results in him killing his mother. Willem Dafoe and Michael Pena are the cops who arrive at the murder scene but the situation becomes more immediate when the killer, played brilliantly by Brad Dourif, barracades himself in his house and claims to have two hostages. As the two cops interview his fiance and close friend the narrative of the killers increasingly unstable mental state unfolds in flashbacks. The fact that what unhinges the killer is never really crystal clear is probably a deliberate choice, as the madness of the subject is usually incomprehensible to the outsider. Although there is no explicit sex or violence the flashbacks are very strange, offbeat and disturbing in their content and tone. It's hard to explain, but the way his insanity is portrayed really gets under your skin. Much of what he does and says throughout the film makes no sense, or maybe I just did not understand the reasons for his behavour. I guess this is the whole point about the nature of madness, there are no clear cut questions and answers, but a strange muddled mixture of experiences and conversations that are very dark and unattainable. The music and unconventional cinematography play a large role and are very effective in creating atmosphere and mood. The cast is very strong but it is Brad Dourif as the insane killer who steals the show. He is utterly convincing. The ending is a bit obvious and anti-climatic but it's not the sort of film that would go down the route of an exciting, Hollywood climax, so in a sense the film is true to itself. 7/10

Pope's visit

Unfortunately I was unwell and could not attend the papal mass. I was very disappointed personally but I was glad that everything, the mass, the crowd turnout and atmosphere, etc, seemed to be great. The media coverage was actually very positive the following day. The Pope seemed to enjoy it very much and I think he was touched by the warm and welcoming response of the Scottish people, both in Edinburgh and Glasgow. There was a few pathetic bampots who held up a 'No surrender' flag and Union Jack at a bridge overlooking the M8. Ian Paisley and a few other anti-Catholic nutters held a small protest, although not all those critical of the Pope and the Catholic Church are nutters. Ultimately Ian Paisley and his mob were far outnumbered by those glad to see the Holy Father. So I think the country will definitely be blessed in some way. How, I'm not sure, maybe in many ways that we will never know if this life. Maybe it will bring some lapsed Catholics back to their faith or renew the faith of lukewarm Catholics. The Pope was gracious and warm but he was not afraid the preach the gospel and encourage religious belief and practise. I think he got a very good balance. He praised Britain as a 'force for good', trying to recognise the democracy we enjoy and have fought for, but he also warned the young people against the evils of drink, drugs and sex (ie, promiscuity). Today, in London, he meet with representitives from the Church of England in a show of Christian unity, so I was glad to see them all pulling together in an ecumenical spirit. We have a common enemy, in the form of relativism and secularism. I think he'll have to pace himself physically over the next two days. He's 83 and does not have the same energy of John Paul 2 when he visited about 30 years ago. He does not have the same charisma and confidence of JP2 but I think he has his own gifts and qualities that have come through very strongly so far. Maybe some Catholics were hoping for a more reforming and charismatic pope but I think we should be grateful for Joe, he's a really good man and a very worthy pope.

These are just a few thoughts of an ordinary Catholic guy.

Mark Nelson and Rhod Gilbert at the Edinburgh Festival

This was my fourth and final visit to this years Edinburgh Festival. On Thursday I had gone through myself to see the legendary singer-songwriter Bert Jansch in concert. He was great. It was just a privilege to see him play live, he is such an amazing guitarist. I hope he plays again next year. It was also good just to see something other than comedy at the Festival. On Saturday myself, Tony and Alan arrived in Edinburgh about 5PM, leaving us enough time to find the Underbelly in Cowgate and have a quick pint before the Mark Nelson gig. We had seen Mark Nelson before not so long ago, so some of his material we had already heard. He's a decent comedian, with good obversational skills and comic delivery. He is much in the same mould as Kevin Bridges but not quite in his class. Still I quite enjoyed the set and I would probably be happy to see him again in the future. Some strong language and a bit crude at times but nothing too bad. Our next destination was the EICC, with a quick chippy dinner along the way. It was me who suggested that we see the likable Welsh comedian Rhod Gibert so I felt the burden of responsibility rest on my shoulders as we took our seats in one of the EICC's main auditoriums. His set was basically one long very amusing rant. He delivered it with great energy and enthusiasm, and at times it almost took on the feeling of a theatrical piece. Maybe he should try his hand at acting because even though it was supposed to be comedy I was strangely moved at times and got emotionally caught up in his dramatic monologues. He was funny as well, in a kind of crazy way. We managed another pint at the Waverly before taking the bus back to Glasgow. It has been another successful Festival experience. Some acts were better than others, but on the whole I've enjoyed it and I look forward to next year. Bert Jansch 10/10 Mark Nelson 6/10 Rhod Gilbert 7/10

Tim Vine and Fred MacAulay at the Edinburgh Festival

Tony could not make it this week because he was already committed to the stag weekend from hell. His future brother-in-law and some other guys he had never met before were headed for Blackpool (?) and a 'hotel' that specifically catered to suit the needs of stag weekends. Alan and I just hoped that we would see our friend alive again. At the very least a new kidney would be required. An old school friend had said he would take Tony's place but unfortunately he pulled out on the day so it was just Alan and I on the bus through to Edinburgh. We arrived in the pouring rain and battled our way to the Pleasance courtyard for the Tim Vine gig. After a couple of pints sheltered under a canopy we headed out into the rain to find the venue. We were met with a cue the size of Eisteins IQ. It gives you an idea of Tim Vine's popularity. I don't know why the organisers thought it necessary to make us wait out in the pouring rain but at least the rain drops filling my half full pint glass made the pint last longer. Tim Vine's show was called the Joke-amotive and gives you some idea of the style and content of his humour. His jokes are rapid one liners, often using puns and word play. He currently holds the world record for the most number of jokes in a hour (499). He delivers his jokes very well, with great energy and comic timing. Even just to remember that amount of material is in itself very impressive. One of his jokes won an award as 'best joke of the festival'. The joke was 'I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.' That is a typical Tim Vine joke. He also used a lot of props in his routine. One of my favorites is when he held up a sign which read 'BNAG' and he quipped 'Now that's BANG out of order!' I really enjoyed his show. Yes it was corny but it was very clever and it made me laugh. Good clean wholesome fun. In true festival spirit our next stop was the pub, full of interesting characters, and then a quick stop at McDonalds. I bet the pubs and restaurants do cracking business during the festival. We arrived at the Edinburgh International Conference Centre (EICC) just in time for the Fred MacAulay show. Fred MacAulay is best known as a radio presenter who occasionally does stand up from time to time. On the basis of the show I think he should stick to the radio. On the radio he is genuinely likeable and witty, but as a stand up comedian he was very average. His humour is best expressed when he has someone to play off, like a guest on his radio show. He was also quite crude and foul mouthed at times which I didn't like. Maybe he was trying to cast off his clean cut radio presenter mould and prove that he could mingle with other stand ups. I just felt that the bad language was forced and it did not make his material any funnier. Other comedians can get away with it, like Billy Connolly, but not Fred. So it was a mixed day at the Festival. I enjoyed Tim Vine, the beer, the beautiful babes, Alan's company and the atmosphere but I was disappointed in Fred MacAulay and the rain. 'Ach well!' as a philosophical Scotsman would say. Tim Vine 8/10 Fred MacAulay 5/10

Kevin Bridges at the Edinburgh Festival

It's that time of year again. The Edinburgh Festival has arrived with it vast spectrum of the weird and wonderful. Like last year my friends and I have focused soley on comedy again and to kick things off we went to see the rising star that is Kevin Bridges. Although he has blazed his way onto the comedy circuit in the last year I had never actually seen him in action. He had completely sold out his run at the festival and extra dates were added due to massive public demand, so to say that I expected great things from this young Glaswegian comedian would be accurate. As Tony, Alan and I queued outside the Assembly Music Hall on a fair Friday evening I was handed a flier advertising Kevin Bridges. There were quotes from various magazines and newspapers heralding him as 'the master of stand up at just 22' and 'the most exciting talent in Scottish stand-up'. My levels of expectation were now even higher. So, was he any good? Well, to say that he is 'the master of stand-up' is quite an exaggeration but that's not to say that I didn't enjoy his set. It was good, but just not as good as I had hoped. His material was observational with a strong Scottish perspective. I was more impressed with the maturity with which he delivered his material, like a seasoned pro. Even if his material was not that funny he engineered a laugh because he has a natural gift in telling a story or a joke. I think we are still to see the best of Kevin Bridges, as he gains more experience and refines his material. He certainly has a lot of potential. I just hope he can tone down the strong and crude language. It rarely enhances the material or makes it funnier. 7/10

Inception

I recently saw the much anticipated Inception and I was not disappointed. It boasts a very strong cast with Leonardo DiCaprio leading the way as Dominic Cobb, a man who breaks into the dreams of others to steal information. This process is called 'extraction'. He is also a man on the run, unable to get back to his family in America after the death of his wife (Marion Cotillard). He is offered the chance to start afresh when a powerful businessman, played by Ken Wanatabe, wants him to break into the subconcious of a rival corporate businessman, played by Cillian Murphy, and plant the idea to dissolve his empire which threatens to gain a monopoly in the energy business. This process of planting an idea in a mind is called 'inception'. It is a very interesting and novel idea, thought up, or possibly dreamt up, by the talented Christopher Nolan who also writes and directs the film. He originally came up with the idea about ten years ago but wanted to have more experience in directing big scale films, so with films like The Dark Knight and The Prestige under his belt he went back and worked on the script for six months before selling it to Warner Brothers. I'm not surprised it took Nolan six months to work on the script, as the film is very complex and multi-layered. It's the kind of film that demands several viewings to fully understand what's going on. Or maybe I'm just a bit thick. It is certainly refreshing to watch a film that is this original and not a dumbed down special effects popcorn movie that is part of a franchise or a remake (cough cough Predators cough cough The A Team). Visually the film is very impressive. The dream world is very cool and the action scenes are exciting and fast paced. The plot is inventive and compelling, with some twists that you would expect from Nolan. After watching the film I had a really interesting conversation with my dad about dreams, the human mind and the subconscious. It's a fascinating and mysterious area of our human experience. Do dreams mean anything? Are we using all of our brain? Where does human consciousness and intelligence come from? Is it just a product of neutrons and chemicals in the brain or is there a spiritual element to our intelligence? What is the difference between the brain and the mind? Sometimes my dreams can be very violent. Often I am a soldier in battle. Sometimes, but not often, I am singing and playing the guitar. I am aware in my dream that the music is really good and it's my own creation but when I wake up I can't remember it. I wonder why I can't create great music when I am awake. It seems that in my dreams my subconscious is given a free reign to use all the creative power of my brain. As part of the human condition we are bound by our limitations. It's not something we can do much about, unless there is significant medical development that can help harness the power of the mind. I am sure there are techniques and substances that can help develop our brain function and hopefully medicines can be developed to combat conditions like dementia and Alzheimers. This is indeed important and often I get frustrated myself when my own brain is not functioning well so I don't want to undervalue the importance of the human brain. At times I wish I was smarter. But I can imagine that for many scientists and pscyhologists who are atheists this ability to get as much use of the brain in our one life here on earth can become an unhealthy focus. Brain function and IQ are of course very important but sometimes they can overshadow other areas of what it is to be human like emotional intelligence, kindness and integrity. The actress Natalie Portman once said 'I'd rather be smart than a movie star.' I don't disagree with her but I would rather be kind and loving than smart. If more people focused on developing their emotional intelligence and fostering qualities like kindness and patience and acceptance then the world would be a much better place. There are too many smart people with no heart. Without wanting to sound corny, at the end of the day love is the answer to the problems and frustrations of our limited human experience. My dad made an interesting point about dreams. He said that maybe the wonderful dreams we have are a foretaste of heaven. In heaven we will be set free from the shackles of our human limitations and we can truly express ourselves. Apparently 'eternal life' does not mean the soul living for ever and ever. The Greek translation of 'eternal life' is 'the fullness of life'. Time will not exist in heaven, in the way we experience and understand it now. I have no idea what it's going to be like but it will be 'the fullness of life', which sounds pretty cool.
Inception 8/10

Amish teenagers

I've just finished watching a very interesting documentary about a group of Amish teenagers who leave their community in America and travel to London to experience an alternative culture. Some might think that the Amish are a cult. They are certainly going against the grain in their lifestyle and beliefs but the young Amish people came across as being very genuine, wholesome and content. There was no sense that they are brain washed or weird. In fact they were very refreshing. There is much to admire in the way they life their lives. They live simply and peacefully, work hard and live out the Word of God in their daily lives, like 'love thy neighbour'. I don't wish to romanticize their life but they seem happy. Much in contrast with our secular society. The group of Amish teenagers meet and spend time with some London teenagers, experiencing modern things like street dancing and beauty parlours. Their response is interesting. They are a bit bemused and taken aback at times but they are open minded. I think the Amish guys could take to the different culture more easily than the girls. The Amish teenagers don't compromise their own beliefs and they speak their mind openly but respectfully, which I greatly admire because I know from experience it so hard to speak about your faith and religious beliefs to people of a secular mindset and lifestyle. It takes courage, integrity and an inner strength. It's something I wish I had. And to give the London teenagers credit they are very respective and accepting of the Amish and their ways. They both get along well, even though their lifestyles and beliefs differ, and there is a genuine affection between them. The Amish seem to find many things challenging and thought provoking, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe they can learn something from us or maybe it will just serve to make them appreciate even more their sheltered and safe community life. They might feel that they are being denied some things that are good and enjoyable, like art and music and learning about other cultures. I don't think I could live exactly like the Amish. I wouldn't be typing this blog if I did because they don't use elecricity. They don't use any modern technology. There is nothing wrong with this although most technology is good or bad depending on how it is used. Medicine is an obvious example and it would be interesting to hear their views on this. So while I couldn't totally embrace the Amish way of live, part of me is still very attracted to them. It would be nice to have a happy medium. If I won enough money in the national lottery I would buy a tropical island somewhere in the pacific, invite all my friends and build a Utopian society. We would live in harmony and peace. There would be no crime, no poverty, no boybands. Anyway, while I dream of this I must do the best I can, living in the city, to be true to my Christian values and not get too attacthed to material things. The Amish teenagers might be conservative and even square but they have a peace and sense of belonging which many of our urban teenagers don't have. It is both sad and uplifting at the same time. Well done to Channel 4 for producing such a well balanced and insightful documentary.

2010 World Cup analysis

Best players: David Villa (Spain), Iniesta (Spain), Xavi (Spain), Puyol (Spain), Ramos (Spain), Schweinstiger (Germany), Lahm (Germany), Ozil (Germany), Muller (Germany), Sneijder (Holland), Robben (Holland), Forlan (Uruguay), Suarez (Uruguay)

Best goals:
best individual - David Villa (Spain v Honduras)
best counter attack - Klose (Germany v Argentina)
best strike - Van Bronckhurst (Holland v Uruguay)
or Tevez (Argentina v Mexico)

Worst challenge: De Jong's karate kick in final

Worst hacker: Van Bommel

Biggest flops: Rooney and Ronaldo

Best teams:
1) Spain
2) Germany
3) Brazil

Worst refereeing decision - Lampard's disallowed goal

Best refereeing decision - Lampard's disallowed goal

Into The Wild

Warning - the following contains spoilers

Into The Wild is based on a true story and centres on the adventures of a young man called Chris McCandless. The film starts in 1990 and Chris has recently graduated from college but has become disillusioned with the materialistic, success driven society and in an act of rebellion and idealism he decides to break free and wander rural America in search of an alternative life experience. His ultimate aim is to reach Alaska and live alone in harmony with nature. Along the way he befriends some interesting characters but he is unable to develop these relationships and he keeps moving on, always with Alaska as his ultimate goal. The film might not be everybody's cup of tea but it's at least very thought provoking. I watched the trailer of Into The Wild on YouTube and it was interesting to read the comments of people who have seen the film. Some applauded Chris for his idealism and courage. One person wrote something along the lines of 'He lived more in those two years than most people do in their entire life'. But some criticised Chris for his naivety and selfishness. The film really provoked heated debate and polerized opinion. I think the idea of breaking free from consumerism and the conventions of society all strike a chord with us but it depends how we express this longing for freedom and happiness. Chris thought it would be found in a complete rejection of consumerism and living a solitary life. He seemed so focused on this that he lost sight of the importance of friendships, relationships and family. Throughout the film he has opportunities to develop relationships that are potentially very fruitful but he cannot settle down and take that step of faith. Sometimes I don't know whether Chris is running towards something or running away from something. There are references to a troubled family life which may be at the root of this. At the end of the film, dying of starvation in Alaska, he comes to realise that, in his own words, 'Happiness is only real when shared'. Overall I was not sure whether to admire Chris or feel pity for him. Maybe a bit of both. Like most things in life, it comes down to getting the right balance. He could have settled down with friends and still maintained his close bond with nature and spirit of adventure, but sadly his remarkable journey does not have this happy ending. At the end of the day I guess there is not subsitute for love. Emile Hirsch is excellent as Chris and manages to portray a strong will and free spirit with a sense of underlying insecurity. It is a character driven film and does not have much of a plot but the direction, cinematography, soundtrack, screenplay and cast are all very strong and make Into The Wild an engaging and powerful film. 8/10

Poetry 5

My bed is ruffled,
Shaped like the waves of an outgoing tide.
My dreams are all out at sea,
Lurking somewhere in the depths of the night.
I fish them out in the dark
And they are strange colours and shapes,
Dripping, dripping everywhere.
Not what I want to eat.
So I throw them back in and forget them.
By daylight I shall hunt for deer and rabbits.
They are simple and tasty and solid in my hands.

Poetry 4

I love to hear the sounds
Of this late night's bedside stillness
Of rain tapping on the windows;
A drizzly distant cry;
Rustling leaves in gentle mournful whisper,
Like the murmur of a sad waterfall.
The past surfaces like driftwood,
Fragile yet powerful,
Tossed about on the churning waves of my emotion.
A door outside slams shut
And suddenly they are gone,
Back into the depths.

Poetry 3

The campfire is burning
In the hazel wood grove
Singing yellow sparks
Into the silent night.
And from the moon
Comes a sliver light
Casting a midnight magic
On the dark world below.

'Ode to a blossom' by Ashlee Welch

Oh, blossom
You are so awesome.
So fair and sweet and mild.
The sunbeams shine
In the yard of thine
And make you strong and wild.

Poetry 2

My favourite time is night
When darkness and silence
Come together like lovers embracing
Their love ebbs and flows
While the world sleeps,
Dreaming of its vain salvation
Only to awake to a nightmare.
The lovers awake to the call
Of a bird in sunlight.
They know a peaceful morning.

Poetry 1

The Skies of Autumn

The skies of Autumn
Are on fire with dusk,
Fiery red like a poppy
Stretched out across the sky.
It scatters its seeds
Of colour and light
Onto infertile bricks
And infertile minds.

Rufus Wainwright in concert

I have seen Rufus Wainwright in concert before and he was great, so I was really looking forward to seeing him live again. The concert was spilt into two parts. At the start a guy came on stage and told the audience that the first part of the show was something like a song cycle and asked us not applaude Rufus during the perfomance or until he had made his exit. A big screen was lowered down and the lights dimmed. Rufus appeared at a door dressed in a long black robe with feathers stitched to his shoulders and walked very very slowly towards the piano. He didn't say anything but just started to play. His songs were very unusual, dark, intense, sad and emotionally spent. It was certainly not easy listening. The screen behind him projected images of his eye opening and shutting in slow motion. It was all very arty and like something you would expect to find at the Edinburgh festival. I have no idea what it all meant, maybe something to do with the eye being the window to the soul. It was not all my cup of tea but kudos to Wainwright for trying something innovative and different. It would be easy just to rest on your laurels and go through the motions. For the second half Rufus came out on stage dressed normally and waving to the crowd, who received him very warmly. He was his usual self: charming, funny, quirky, camp. He played a selection of his more popular songs, including The Art Teacher, my own personal favourite. He totally messed up Poses but managed to make light of it and charm his way out of a sticky situation. He really is very very talented, being able to sing while playing complex accompaniment on the piano. He has a great voice, very powerful and distinct, and is also a very accomplished pianist. The best song of the night was the last one, written by his mother, the late singer Kate McGarrigle. It was called something like 'Walking Blues' or 'Walking along' but it had a lovely melody and was beautifully interpretated by Wainwright, who dedicated the song to her. I certainly enjoyed the second half more than the first but as a whole it was not as good or entertaining as the first concert. Hopefully next time he will skip the experimental stuff and play it straight, if you excuse the pun.

George & Arthur by Julian Barnes

I initially judged this book by it's cover (being an artist I liked the design), but fortunately this flawed buying procedure turned out to be successful, as I immensely enjoyed this accomplished piece of work. It is extremely well written, with an excellent description and development of two very different but equally intriguing characters. Based on true events, it seems to have been very well researched and a bygone era is brought vividly and convincingly to life. There are many themes explored throughout the novel, guilt and innocence, the mystery of life and death, but these are skillfully woven into a plot that at times reads like a thriller. In this sense it's quite an usual book, but personally made it all the more interesting. All in all, this is an absorbing, very readable and often touching book by an obviously very talented writer. 9/10

Corinne Bailey-Rae at Oran Mor

This was the first time I had been to a gig at Glasgow's Oran Mor and on the whole it was a positive experience. I arrived early so I went to the main bar for a drink. I stuck to my usual Magners but the bar had a good selection of whiskeys and spirits and more importantly there was a good selection of pretty girls to goggle at. I was checking them out while pretending to read my Christopher Brookmyre book. I think Oran Mor must have been a church before being converted (no pun intended) into a pub and venue for gigs and plays. It is attractive and cosy inside. The gig was in the basement entered at a side door. I again had plenty of time until the concert started and I went to get another drink. The Oran Mor clientele must be the most polite and civilised in the whole of Glasgow. At the bar it was a case of 'After you',,,'No, please go first',,,'No, my good sir, I insist you be served' and so on. It was a refreshing change to the usual mad elbows in the face attempt to get served at most of Glasgow pubs.
First on stage was a guy called Fiffy. I didn't quite catch his surname. Tall, wavy hair, grey suit and tie, Jesus sandals. I think he was English but maybe he was just educated at St. Andrews University, it is hard to tell at times. He had a good voice and was a decent guitarist and pianist but his songs were not quite as impressive. They were not bad, just a bit forgettable. It's says something when the best song he sang was a cover version. It was really good, using a loop machine so he could build up the song with layer upon layer, and he delivered it with aplomb. He was well received and he definitely does have talent but he needs to work on his song writing skills. He put me in mind of Jose Gonzalez, the Swedish acoustic singer/songwriter. His best three songs are all covers: Heartbeats by The Knifes, Teardrop by Massive Attack and Put Your Hand On Your Heart by Kylie Minogue. Jose Gonzalez is indeed a good songwriter but he has still to prove that he can be a very good or even great one.
Another visit to the bar and then Corinne Bailey-Rae came onstage. A slender, dark skinned, bushy haired beauty but curiously dressed in a blue one piece jump suit that looked like something from a low budget sci-fi movie. It didn't really matter, she still looked great. You could dress her in sack cloth and ashes and she would still dazzle. She started with the opening track to her new album, which I really liked, and continued to play most of her new material, punctuated by some songs from her first album. Her band was excellent. I'm no music critic but even I could tell that they were all very complished musicians. They just sounded good. Corinne sang with a lot of feeling and style, and she has a charming onstage personality. She is also a very decent guitarist. Nothing flashy, but some of the chords looked quite tricky. There is a strong jazz influence that came through in her set, maybe more so live than on her record. I don't know why, it was just something that made an impression on me. She has carved out a very successful niche in the 'easy listening soul/pop with jazz influence' market. The songs from her new album are much in the same vein as the songs from her first album. This is not a criticism, but I just hope that she does not get stuck in a comfort zone. I would like to see her experiment a bit, and not be afraid to find a different sound. She has certainly got the talent to be successful in whatever direction she goes.

Turning 30

I turned 30 on Saturday. I actually feel okay about it, probably because I'm in better health now. A couple of years ago, when I was very ill, I felt as though my life was passing me by, but now I am more accepting and philosophical about where I am in life. My 20's were tough, real tough, but through all the pain and suffering and uncertainty I think I learned a lot and matured greatly as a person. I am far from perfect and I've a long way to go but I am feeling more hopeful and optimistic about my 30's and life in general. Thank you to all my friends and family for their love, prayers and just being there for me. What are my goals for the next ten years? Just to live and to live well.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood. - Helen Keller

Celebrity Crush List 2010

Top ten celeb crushes:

1) Rachel McAdams
2) Lisa Hannigan
3) Natalie Portman
4) Duffy
5) Lois from Family Guy
6) Audrey Tautou (Amelie)
7) Jada Pinkett-Smith
8) Kate Winslet
9) Corinne Bailey-Rae
10) Rachel Weisz

Sadly most of these beautiful women are either fictional, already married or have a restraining order out on me. So I’m willing to settle for anything that comes my way.

Heaven

In the book The Lovely Bones the main character is stranded in a sort of limbo between earth and heaven called the inbetween, a place where your world is tailor made to match you personality and experiences. It's an interesting concept and got me thinking about the afterlife and heaven. What will heaven be like? The Christian vision of heaven in the Bible is of a place where "there shall be no more death, neither sorrow or crying, neither shall there be any more pain." (Rev 21:3) Obviously that means there will be no episodes of Friends. Also we will have new bodies, which will be nice. "God has prepared us for the purpose of being clothed with our heavenly body." (2Cor 5:4-5) I like to think that there will be a range of body types to choose from and on entering heaven we will be given a catalogue and asked to select one of the following. Personally I will choose Brad Pitt from Fight Club. I remember a priest giving a short homily about heaven to children with learning difficulties. He said that it would be a place where you could do all the things you enjoy on earth. I quite liked this idea. I don't think time will exist in heaven, there will just be the present moment, but I have thought about my perfect day in heaven. It will be something like this:

8AM wake up without a hangover
enjoy the sunrise
have breakfast with Tommy Cooper (special omelette and orange juice)
the waitress is Rachel Weisz
10.30AM have a round of golf with St.Peter at Augusta
the sun is shinning and the caddie is Rachel McAdams
1PM have lunch with Elvis (we both eat hamburgers)
2PM play guitar with Frank Zappa
4PM play soccer with a select team that includes Pele, Maradona and Zidane
the referee is Natalie Portman
6PM have dinner with Johnny Cash, Einstein, Che Guevara and Groucho Marx
Johnny gives us a few tunes, Groucho gives us a few jokes
the waitress is Marilyn Monroe
8PM paint with Picasso
10PM have a few beers with Jesus and enjoy the sunset

I think that sounds pretty good. Now I just have to get to heaven, that's the hard part.

John Scofield and the SNJO

I had the honour of seeing one of my guitar heros in concert last night. John Scofield is one of the most talented and innovative jazz guitarists alive. The fact that jazz legend and genius Miles Davis hired John in the early 1980's speaks volumes. This concert was a collaboration between Scofield, the Scottish National Jazz Orchestra (SNJO) and a number of composers who arranged the music for the orchestra. The first set was 'Loud Jazz'; four pieces penned by Scofield and one by Miles. The second set was 'Electric Miles'; four Miles tunes and one by Scofield. My favorite was Wabash The Third (partly because I can play a few bars on guitar myself, although very slowly and probably incorrectly) and Davis's wonderfully catchy Jean Pierre. It almost has the feel of a children's song. Da da, da da Da. That does not really do it justice. It is so simple but so effective, much like Beethoven's 5th in its simple direct melody. Scottish Saxophonist Tommy Smith conducted the orchestra and also threw in a few blistering solos for good measure. He has a rare set of lungs and he was very impressive but I got the impression that Scofield was the real crowd puller. He was certainly the reason I was there. I am not a music critic and I don't understand the technicalities of music theory or chord formation or improvisation but I just loved watching him play that guitar. It just seemed to work and sound right. I don't really have the words or musical knowledge to better articulate why I love his guitar playing so much, I just do. The SNJO were also very very impressive and I would definitely see them live again. The drummer was excellent and played a couple of solos. He played the drums in a jerky energetic way like he was being electrocuted. The bass player was a odd wee guy who looked like Spud from Trainspotting. It was like someone had just picked him up off the mean streets of Easterhouse or Drumchapel, stuck him in a suit and shoved him on stage. He was very good, to be fair. The lead trumpet dude also gave a dynamic solo, squealing out notes with a bright red face and eyes screwed up like he was badly constipated. But the night really belonged to John Scofield. Great guitarist, he also seemed like a lovely guy. There was a microphone passed between Tommy Smith and John durng the two sets and they had a bit of banter. It was my first jazz concert in many years, and if the brain is a sponge and can only absorb so much information then the same can be said of jazz. It is an intense genre and I can only take so much, but the concert has definitely rekindled my interest in jazz and I will be back for more, that is for certain.

culture of greed

In the light of Robbie Keane's loan deal to Celtic, where he earns an incredible £65,000 a week, the morality of footballers wages has been in my mind quite a lot. Keane is an excellent player but nobody is worth that amount of money. For that kind of money Keane is morally obliged to score at least five goals a game, do extensive charity work and find a cure for cancer. I don't want to focus solely on Keane, as there are some players on twice that wage in the English Premiership. If I was in a similar position, a top player with the leverage to demand £65,000, I would find myself in a moral dilemma. I could take the wages and look after my family and give most to charity. Or I could make a stand and settle for a more modest wage (say 3 or 4 grand a week, which is still a huge salary) and let the media know about it and why I am doing it. In an ideal world FIFA would impose a maximum wage structure but that's never going to happen. I just hope that someday a brave footballer is going to speak out about this culture of greed and immoral wages. But there is no point in just speaking out about it. You would have to put your money where your mouth is.

John Hughes tribute

John Hughes: director, writer, producer, was a extremely talented artist and I was saddened to hear of his untimely death in August 2009. This is my own tribute to him. It's not since his death that I have come to fully appreciate just how gifted this man was. This creative output during the 1980's and early 1990's is very impressive, including classics such as Planes, Trains and Automobiles and Home Alone, the later being the most commerically successful film which he wrote and produced. But his 1980's teen comedies should not be overlooked. The two which I have seen, The Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller's Day Off, are both superb. He wrote the script for both films and he seems to be able to powerfully articulate the thoughts and feelings of teenagers: the angst, uncertainty, search for identity, strained relationships with parents and authority figures. Although set in the 1980's the themes are universal and can speak to young people from any generation. The Breakfast Club delves more deeply into these issues, although it has comic moments. Ferris Bueller in general is more lightheatred and fun but has a few poignant and powerful scenes which hit home. The Breakfast Club made me think about my own high school years. In case you don't know The Breakfast Club is about five teenagers who have to spend Saturday morning and some of the afternoon (maybe it should have been called The Brunch Club) together in detention at their high school. The five teenagers fall into different high school social niches: the jock/athelete, the princess, the basketcase, the criminal and the brain. It made me think about what group I belonged to in high school. On reflection I think I was a bit of all five: I was very good at sports but definitely not a jock, people seemed to like me but I was not part of the popular crowd nor did I have many real friends, I was different from most others in my tastes and behaviour but not quite an oddball, I got into some fights and clashes with authority but I was not a menace to society or bad person (although Jackie would disagree), and I did study hard and achieve some good academic results but I was not labelled a brainbox. I guess it is a homage to John Hughes that his films make you think about these things. His last film as a director was Curly Sue, which I've never seen, and apart from writing scripts for one or two films he moved to Illinois and lived as a farmer until his death. John Hughes died of a heart attack in Mahattan, New York while visiting family. Even though he kept a low profile and rarely gave interviews he will be sorely missed. One of my new years resolutions was to marry Rachel McAdams. The other was to watch more John Hughes films and it is something I look forward to greatly. John Hughes 1950 - 2009. Rest in peace.

Glasga wit

I got this story from a friend of a friend works who works in a jobcentre. It's just approaching 9AM and there is a queue of guys outside the jobcentre. The security guard watches them from the door. One dude decides to roll up a joint but in the process spills a handful of canabis onto the ground. The dude and his pal then spent the next five minutes on their hands and knees, scooping up canabis with small plastic forks. The security guard watches on in amusement. When the doors to the jobcentre open all the guys come in and line up, waiting for their name to be called. The security guard wanders over the dude and asks him if he mananged to get back all his 'stuff'. 'Nae man,' answers the dude, 'but I will if I have tae smoke the ground!'

joke

Why is coffee better than a woman?

Because a coffee looks good in the morning!

Way To Blue - Songs of Nick Drake

In January in Glasgow there is a folk festival called Celtic Connections and last week I went to a concert celebrating the music of Nick Drake - it was really good. There was a house band, including Danny Thompson who originally played bass on a lot of Nick's tracks, a string section and a selection of guest vocalists. Sadly I was not invited to sing. Belle and Sebastian's lead singer was there (Stuart Murdoch), Lisa Hannigan (she collaborated with Damian Rice but has now gone solo), Teddy Thompson (son of legendary folk artist Richard Thompson who I saw last year in concert), a folk singer called Vashti Bunyan (she has a lovely voice but on the night she seemed quite nervous and struggled a bit), South African poet Warren Crystal (great voice! she should give up poetry and focus on singing) and a few others who I had never heard of before. They did quite modern and individual interpretations of Nick's songs, my favourites being Parasite, At The Chime Of The City Clock, Poor Boy, Pink Moon, Black Eyed Dog and Voices. For the encore all the vocalists came onto the stage and did a beautiful version of Voices. It was quite moving, seeing them all together, bringing Nick's wonderful music alive. At the interval Joe Boyd, who produced Nick's three studio albums, introduced the musicians and singers and also just paid tribute to Nick and his music. Robert Kirby, who had arranged the strings for Five Leaves Left and Byrter Layter, died in October so he was given a round of applause. My favorite vocalist was Lisa Hannigan. Move over Rachel McAdams! Lisa is now my current crush! She's got a great voice but is also very beautiful, sexy and down to earth. Check her out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPwk4S5nU9s (gorgeous song by a gorgeous girl)

The Road reviewed

The Road is another successful film adaptation of a Cormac McCarthy book (the other being No Country For Old Men). It is set in a post apocalyptic and desolate America, and centres on the journey of a father and son walking the road south to the coast where they hope to find a warmer climate and better life. Along the way they struggle to survive and keep that hope alive. The film, like life, is a hard slog: intense, dark and bleak but unable to overwhelm the love between father and son, called simply Man and Boy. This relationship is portrayed in a tender and very moving way, thanks largely to a brilliant joint performance by Viggo Mortensen as Man and Kodi Smit-McPhee as Boy. I will be surprised if they are not both nominated for an Oscar. Man is a loving and devoted father, outside that relationship he is pragmatic and cautious which is understandable in the circumstances. It's a fine line to tread, between survival and protection of a loved one and doing all that necessary to achieve that. Robert Duvall, Guy Pearce and Charlize Theron provide an impressive supporting cast but Mortensen and Smit-McPhee are the powerful anchor of the film. They make the bleak and hard slog worthwhile. The film is about the truimph of the human spirit in terrible conditions, the courage to perserve humanity in oneself but the most telling theme is really about the most important thing in this life, namely the love that exists in a relationship. The fact that the landscape is so bleak and harsh, and the struggles of Man and Boy so painful and hard, only highlights the importance of this gift more powerfully. 8/10.

2009 Lists

I stole this idea from a friend. I've nothing much else to write about.

Best films of 2009:

1) Sherlock Homes
2) Inglorious Basterds
3) District 9

Best books (that I've read this year):

1) A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
2) Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak
3) Birds Without Wings by Louis De Bernieres
4) The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
5) Persuasion by Jane Austen

Best gigs of 2009:

1) Ray LaMontagne
2) Richard Thompson
3) Tom Paxton
4) Bruce Springsteen
5) Half Man Half Biscuit

Best ciders of 2009:

1) Gaymears
2) Bulmers
3) Magners

Biggest crush on a girl of 2009:

1) Rachel McAdams
2) Rachel McAdams
3) Rachel McAdams

New Years Resolutions:

1) Marry Rachel McAdams
2) (failing that) Date Rachel McAdams
3) (failing that) Befriend Rachel McAdams
4) (failing that) Stalk Rachel McAdams
5) (failing that) Ignore the restraining order from Rachel McAdams