Saturday 10 October 2009

Why me, Lord?

I was quietly minding my own business in the basement of Border's bookstore drawing in my sketch book. A tap on the shoulder. 'That's very good.' An eldery woman, well dressed with short silvery hair, stood by my side. She started to talk to me. And talk. And talk. It was a one way conversation that flowed incessantly. I smiled politely and nodded, faining interest. This only encouraged her and after about 15 minutes I was beginning to wilt like a flower in intense heat. She talked about art and then somehow this developed onto a different subject and so on. She kept saying 'I better leave you in peace and go' but she just started off again. I can't remember half of what she said, I tuned her out after about 20 minutes, my eyes gazing over, but I still automatically nodded and smiled. Fatal mistake. And then she really pissed me off. She asked me if I stayed at home and I said 'yes' and she started to go on about how this was not a good idea at my age and that mother should not be pampering me or words to that effect. This is ignorance at it's worse, knowing nothing about my background, character or situation. She also said that I was interesting, when surprised me because I had not said a thing apart from the occassional 'mmm' and 'I see'. I was 'interesting' to her because I was willing to listen to her. I get that a lot. I think some people just like me because I am willing to listen to their crap. Eventually she let go of me and wandered off. I breathed a sigh of relief. It had been a draining experience and I was glad to get her off my back. Standing up to stretch my limbs I noticed some nice mugs for sale a few feet away. I was about to step across to look at them when a dithering old woman stood right in front of me, blocking my way. She just stood there, with a stupid look on her face, like she didn't know what to do. This was the last thing I needed. Although I'm a wrestling fan I am generally not a violent person but right now I really wanted to clothes-line this old grannie, smack her with a steel chair and finish her off with a suplex slam. Just as I was looking for a baseball bat she finally decided to shuffled forward and I decided to spare her life. So these two experiences have not endeared me to the weaker sex. What can we men do about ignorant, blabbermouths and dithering old women who get in your way? I don't have the answer but I hope for their sake somebody tells me soon before I strangle one of them.

1 comment:

  1. i had that once in wetherspoons having a coffee waiting for mark at an interview. Coffee in one hand book in the other. This old guy starts to tell me all about his son (book was about autism). Im like im reading a book i want me time go away!

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